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| photo from the 1994 BBC MIDDLEMARCH movie |
I just want to segue into this post by asking you to pray for those in the path of the Colorado wildfires, and that God will send rain. I know personally how a fire can wreak unbelievable damage in a short amount of time, and that experience sticks with you for life. I know so many prayers are being lifted on this account right now.
For today’s quote, I had to delve into Middlemarch, by George Eliot. Now, I love George Eliot, but this book is a little loooonger to get through. Lots of political jargon about Whigs and whatnot–not my cup o’ coffee.
But one thing I love about George Eliot–she’s the master of the completely obtrusive omniscient viewpoint. In other words, as an author, she injects her own opinions liberally and firmly. This quote is one of those opinions, which flies in the face of the “communicate your every injury” philosophy that has infected our marriages today. Sometimes, we just have to keep our mouths shut. Not usually, but sometimes.
“We mortals, men and women, devour many a disappointment between breakfast and dinnertime, keep back the tears and look a little pale about the lips, and in answer to inquiries say, ‘Oh, nothing!’ Pride helps us, and pride is not a bad thing when it only urges us to hide our own hurts–not to hurt others.”
****What do you think? Is it good to keep our hurts to ourselves sometimes, in order not to hurt others?****
when you share your hurts its called being vulnerable. being vulnerable allows you to overcome your pride and put yourself out there. it ultimately makes you grow, sometimes in unintended ways. i've found it's always better to be vulnerable than to use pride and keep your hurts to yourself.
I think so. We must make sure our hurts don't lead to resentment though, we must make sure we forgive those who hurt us and not grow bitter.Proverbs says a fool vents all his feelings. So yeah, I think it's good when we hold things back in order to not hurt others. We just have to safeguard our hearts in the process.
I definitely agree with both of you here. Yes, we have to be vulnerable to truly love deeply. We have to share those deep hurts and not become bitter. I guess I was thinking more of every petty thing that bugs us. We have to communicate to keep marriage strong, but some things weaken the marriage over time (ie: incessant nagging about every tiny thing our spouse does wrong!). But you're so right, bitterness is such a disease.
If we're going lite and fluffy, if my DARLING husband knew how often I wanted to apply an inch of Neet on his beard, while he sleeps, he'd faint. I. HATE. the beard.HATE.THE.BEARD.But, since I am a role model to millions and make Beth Moore look sad and petty, I only tell him once a day that I hate his beard.I know, right? I personify the Proverbs 31 woman.Or not.I'm actually think of writing a motivational book called "The Proverbs 32 Woman-For Those Who Don't Care"
Oh my word, Jennifer! Laughing so hard here. I have to convince my hubby to LEAVE his beard. I just have a thing for beards, and his is red, so it's even better. Anyway, back to my point. My hubby just shaved off all his lovely red hair on his head (military-style). He did leave the beard. I wondered how he'd feel if I did something random, like cut my hair super-short or dye it blonde…but anyway, I'm just glad he's home after a week away, and the softie head is kinda growing on me. So I'm just keeping my mouth shut here. Good luck w/your hubs.
He's sitting across from me right now and I'm keeping a straight face…while hearing mini-chainsaws in my head.It's a good thing God gives us grace. Cuz if I had to earn my salvation by being nice? Yeah. Wouldn't happen…
Depends on the hurt. If someone unintentionally leaves me out of something or says something to hurt my feelings, then no. I can keep that to myself and let it go.Big hurts. Intentional hurts? Yes. The Bible says to go to that brother and make it right.
Yes, so true, Jessica. Good to compare what the Bible says to what Eliot says! As Christians, we operate differently, since we are brothers and sisters in Christ.